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How to Get a Boyfriend

By 5:15:00 PM

**This is not actual advice. I wrote 10+ years ago for a class, and now I'm sharing. Enjoy!
      
Let me start by saying I am not an expert dater or popular advice columnist. Nevertheless, it is wise to follow my advice because I know all about the wrong ways to nab a man. I have made about 85% of the mistakes known to women. So I guess you could call me the professional relationship killer. However, making all those bloopers led to me meeting my perfect match. I have developed the perfect formula by using everyone else as practice.

Your first and most important step in getting a man is choosing the right one. Just because you are desperate does not mean you have to settle. Aim. Your standards high so when you fall below them you can at the very least get average. This means, no one who is into himself more than you are, too nice (you will get bored and be back on the market before your third date), and above all no fixers. You do not want anyone you have to change or else your relationship will turn into a hobby/project. A ready-made man is easier and makes the hunt much more enjoyable.
       
After you have deemed your future baby’s daddy is worthy of you attention, it is now time for you to grab his. The best way to do this is by making sure he has access to you. You could become friends with him, that way you already have a foundation for your relationship. However, be sure not to cross the “she’s just one of the guys” line. Remember you are trying to seduce him not become his sweaty, farting, drinking buddy. Another way to catch his attention is become friends with his friends. Benefits: you have cracked into his inner circle; if they like you, he most likely will also. After you two get together, you do not have to worry about getting along with his crew.
       
But, if hanging with all his friends does not sound like a good idea at least try to get in good with his roommate. This will give you a good excuse to visit. You can be around him without being pushy or seem like a stalker. Your main goal is to make sure you are on his radar.
      
After he knows you exist, it is not the time to force yourself on him. Trying too hard is the main interest killer. When you do this he will perceive you as being fake or a psychopath, and that is not the image you want to project. Never let on how much you are into him. Remember, clingy is annoying and stalking is scary. Play it cool!
       
Now that you have achieved and maintained a stable friendship, now is the time to slowly move your plan forward. Get to know him a little more to see if you have accurately assessed his potential. Ask him questions about himself. This allows you to see what you have in common, how open he is, who he is when he is away from the group. This is also a fabulous way to show your interest in him in a very smooth and casual way.
       
Once you are sure he is completely sane use what you have learned to draw him into you. You have to set yourself apart from all other girls. You want to be an enigma. There should always be that one thing that acts as a pulling force. He should feel lucky he knows you.
       
By now, he should know you are interested and single. Now all you have to do is encourage his attraction towards you. Toss out a few genuine complements. Make him feel good about himself, never forget his ego. A good way to do this is to get him to teach you something. You get one on one time, he is focused on you and he feels like an expert. In all it makes for quality bonding experience.
      
If none of this works, you have two options: chalk it up as loss or be direct. If you know for sure that he sees you as just a friend, know that your effort was not wasted. You now have a close guy friend and every girl needs one of those. If your guy is a little shy, you cannot be afraid to step up to the plate. You cannot just give up cause then you did waste your time. Some guys do not understand all the subtle and not-so-subtle hints. Sometimes you have to spell it out for them. Catch him off guard and fall into his lap if you have to. Point is, some guys require the cavewoman approach.
       
My final warning is never let your friends handle your business. Only thing you should be using your friends for is good advice. Letting them try to hook you up or deliver love notes is so high school. That is definitely a turn off. Guys respect you more if they think you are not playing games. You know what you want so grow up and do something about it.


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